Overcoming Abortion

 

Lil’s Story

 

Dread surrounded her, for the first time in her life she felt utterly alone – she felt totally alone, it seemed as if even God had turned His face away! “How is it possible that her life could have spiraled so out of control… that a hidden sexual sin could escalate to such proportions?” anguished thoughts rushed through her mind.  She lifted her eyes and heart towards heaven and in desperation cried: “Lord, what have I done? God, can You forgive me for this?”

 

Lil knew God.  She was a spirit filled, reborn Christian who tried to walk a path of holiness.  She considered herself a good person, except for one area in her life where she really struggled to obtain victory.  She was lonely.  Having gone through a divorce several years ago, Lil was considered “damaged goods” by society and as a result suffered from all kinds of rejection.  She was a single mother and was raising her daughter by herself.  Her everyday life was always the same and it seemed to her that there was no way out of this rut and the lonely existence.  Her life centered on her work and her home, she hardly ever have the opportunity to move out of her hopeless circle of existence.

 

It seemed unavoidable that a young, attractive and lonely female eventually attracted the wrong kind of attention.  David, a married executive instantly felt attracted to Lil.  It was as if his spirit recognized her loneliness and responded to the need.  He always made a point of it to exchange a kind word in the passing at work.  This exchange eventually grew into a deeper interest and then spiraled out of control as a mutual lust was kindled.  Lil’s lust was founded in the need to be accepted and loved and David acted on the instinct to protect and posses.  A whirlwind romance developed which was sustained by chance and secret meetings where and when the opportunity arose in the workplace.

 

Lil was torn between her need to follow God and her overpowering need to belong and be loved.  She often spoke to David of her love for God and her guilt at being caught up in such a relationship.  He responded to their talks and the need for God in his own heart, by giving his own life to Christ.  The dynamics of their relationship immediately changed as they both realized that they could not continue their relationship with each other AND their individual relationships with God.  They agreed to end their relationship.

 

It was a tearful time for Lil as she once again faced the monster of loneliness.  She cried out to God for relief and wondered if she would ever again love and be loved by someone.  In this time of mourning she took the missing of her period as a sign of shock and at first took little note of it.  Her pillow was stained with tears as she mourned the loss of David in her life.  It was only as nausea stuck in the morning that she realized that she might be pregnant.  “Please God, not this, not now!” she prayed as she awaited the test results.  It was positive – and what is supposed to be joyous news seemed like a death penalty!

 

He said nothing, just looked at her and then walked out of her office.  The news of the pregnancy was a shock to David. He was married and had no intention of leaving his wife.  A casual fling was considered acceptable, even a status symbol where he lived, but complications such as a pregnancy, unacceptable!  Lil was on her own, and now she knew for sure that she could not expect any assistance from David.  To her it seemed as if there was no other option than to have an abortion.

 

She has very little recollection of how it happened but one thing clearly remained with her and that was the feeling of being totally deserted – even by God!  The only other stable relationship in her life, her relationship with God, seemed to have come to an end, and she wished to die.

 

Satan succeeded in taking the life of her child and was now attempting to end her life as well.  It was at this point that I met Lil.  She was mourning the loss of God, David and her unborn child.  She was calling out to God in repentance hoping that His mercy would stretch far enough to grant her forgiveness for her sins.  She was broken and in desperate need of deliverance and inner healing.

 

How merciful is our God!  Where many people shout murder and point fingers to the guilty, God is quick to forgive and restore.  We led Lil in prayers of repentance and healing and God touched her with His deliverance power.  He set her free from all the ungodly soul ties she had, He delivered her from spirits of rejection, suicide, murder, sexual immorality and abortion.  Those whom God set free is free indeed.  Lil reported still thinking and longing for her unborn child but all the emotional turmoil, pain and accusation has made place for self acceptance, peace, faith and trust in God.